Author Topic: [Movie] The Lords of Salem  (Read 1528 times)

Meatywand

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[Movie] The Lords of Salem
« on: April 30, 2013, 02:07:00 PM »
What in the ever loving fuck Rob? You make one of the most brilliant modern horror movies EVER (Devil's Rejects) and even did a passable job on Halloween (but not the sequel, Jesus) but everything else you touch seems to be shit. This flick had potential, and I was willing to give Sheri Moon Zombie benefit of a doubt in a starring role, but despite brief flashes of "what could have been" the rest of the movie is awful. Sheri has expanded her acting style enough that she isn't set to Baby/white trash by default, so that was good. The supporting cast (dat Ken Force :lol:) was actually rather good, but the dialogue didn't leave them much to work with and the pacing of the movie was atrocious. It went from tense and weird to fucking tedious to holy shit wtf is this dumb shit to I might turn it off to go home Rob you're drunk. And as much as I get a kick out of stupid over the top SATAN SATAN SATAN shit...this movie was trying WAAAAAAAAY too hard on that front with all its naked saggy titted witches having SATANIC SATAN CEREMONIES WITH A SATANIC GOAT in the woods or some shit. Honestly....just skip this shit and watch The Devil's Rejects instead...its way better...fuck I don't even think Bill Mosely could have saved this movie.

3/10 because I did get some cool mask ideas from it and there are a few neat editing cuts.
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Re: [Movie] The Lords of Salem
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2013, 06:49:37 PM »
When your review began with "Whatin the ever loving fuck, Rob", I knew this movie would go immediately into the discard pile. :lol:


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Meatywand

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Re: [Movie] The Lords of Salem
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2015, 08:27:41 PM »
Watching this again because it came up at the Haunt and Best Buy had it for 9 bucks...maybe it won't be as bad the second time?

Actually wasn't bad at all this time and my wife even really liked it...huh....I guess I just had a bad hate boner the first time I watched it or something.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2015, 10:02:57 PM by Meatywand »
Quote from:  Sergeant D
Nothing says Alpha like getting your anus violated by another man

I gazed through the open window upon a full moon.
His name was Meatywand.