Author Topic: Strange short stories of the queer cop  (Read 1645 times)

Gremlin

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Strange short stories of the queer cop
« on: August 31, 2016, 03:35:58 AM »
Okay, being a homosexual does affect your pig career.

The Feminism DUI tale.

I stop a female for DUI, as I was giving her a sobriety test of walking in a straight line, I observed a large pick up coming towards us at high rate of speed. I pushed the female over a guardrail and we landed with me on top of her in a sexual position. I picked her up and ask about any pain or any injuries. All I got is that I was trying to have sex with her.

That silly women. I saved her life since we where standing between her car and my patrol car. When the pick up hit back of my patrol car it pushed it into her car. All three cars where heavily damaged. I saved her life by getting her out of the way of being the meat of a two car sandwich.

She brought it up with the Internal Affairs and wanted to sue SPD and myself for my "sexual actions". After her lawyer accused me of this false charge, the Internal Affairs lawyer called one witness on my behalf. My boyfriend, in his homosexual voice told he told the court about are very good homosexual lifestyle and kissed me in the face.

The whole courtroom burst into laughter, well except for the female DUI suspect and her lawyer.

The female judge told here: Young lady, you accused a homosexual of sexual harassment and rape. When he dates, men?

Case demised.
 
The Subaru Outback or AKA the Lez-baru

I got tired of everyone at work calling my 1997 Outback a Lez-baru. I told them I have had male gay sex in a Lesbian car. I'm so glad to trade that car in on my Fusion

F THE POLICE!

When some thug would yell at me as uniformed Officer with the F THE POLICE! attitude. I break out the Johnny from the movie Airplane tone of voice and say: "Oh, Darling, if you had a better attitude about my job I hit on you!" Then I pointed to the small gay pride pin on my uniform. Oh, that shut them up.  :lol:

I arrested one my partners:

In the homosexual lifestyle there certain fetishes. One of them is Police uniforms. One my partners put on one my uniforms and was preforming gay sex in public, with another man!  :(

I arrested him for impersonation of a LEO. He did tell that other "guy" that he was a cop. I faced the impersonation charge along indecent exposure and acts of sex in public. I told Billy that should have carried one of my firearms. I come on really a cop without a gun?  :lol: :lol:

Well, Billy did have not a gun permit and Washington is a open carry state....  That relation broke up quickly.

Black Lives Matter

This group calls all cop racist. My daughter (okay foster daughter) who happens to be black tells of the thugs of BLM
 "How can my foster father be a racist when he white and a queer?" Yah, that gets the BLM crowd to say :wtf:

A funny arrest

However I would tell tough criminals that I arrested that would yell at me and spit my face after being hand cuffed. I just told them in the Johnny from airplane voice. "Oh tough guy, you just got busted by a fairy"  :lol:

Mom & Dad

When I told my parents about my gay lifestyle at the age of 31. They told me they always knew about it. They told me as a teenager I was kept the house very tidy and my cooking was always popular with whole family. Then my parents told me that I was the complete opposite of my sister. My sister thinks she Martha Stewart, but her home is a filthy as a single man's home. Also her cooking sucks.

When I adopted Rebecca my parents told me. They would have never guessed that there homosexual son would make them grandparents.

« Last Edit: August 31, 2016, 03:39:12 AM by Gremlin »

AJ

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Re: Strange short stories of the queer cop
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2016, 09:10:51 PM »
Any stories about beating the shit out of innocent people?

Ever shoot someone and ditch their body in an estuary?



Come on I know you've got some hot tales, officer :police:
shit knockknockknock waaaaaaaa
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MiniVanMan

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Re: Strange short stories of the queer cop
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2016, 11:41:48 AM »
Any stories about beating the shit out of innocent people?

Ever shoot someone and ditch their body in an estuary?



Come on I know you've got some hot tales, officer :police:

Give him your address and he can make one...

speedy_2

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Re: Strange short stories of the queer cop
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2016, 03:50:56 PM »
Question.  Why if a guy(single or otherwise) keeps a clean house and can cook, it's assumed he's gay?  I've lived with this stereotype for awhile.  That plus I was very shy growing up.  So girls naturally thought I was gay.   Can't stand it!

AJ

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Re: Strange short stories of the queer cop
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2016, 07:02:45 PM »
Give him your address and he can make one...



Nick: cops don't do wrong stuff I <3 cops

also Nick: lulz my cop friend will kill you
shit knockknockknock waaaaaaaa
872232hdfewbswn kwqopi13yehbd;

Maverick

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Re: Strange short stories of the queer cop
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2016, 01:05:01 AM »
What's it like arresting and incarcerating people for minor infractions that could be handled with court dates?


I miss Cody. The world is a cruel place.